This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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