the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
