Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
