I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
