8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
