i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He better not be in your backpack
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
