I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
