So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
