Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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