just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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