3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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