Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize