i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
