my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
