You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
