Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
