And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
