Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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