mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize