just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
