I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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