If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
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