is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
home. puking in laundry basket.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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