I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
