Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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