I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
