batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
