Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
