his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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