Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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