Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
