My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
