Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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