Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
