I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
