You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
