Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
