maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize