y did u give ur computer a hand job?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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