ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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