apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Do vagina's smell?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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