Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize