Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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