love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
