Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
