I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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