You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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