hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
