I think my vagina is haunted
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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