You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
