sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
