I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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