real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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