Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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