Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
