Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
a search helicopter?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
