She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
