Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
