I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
