he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
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