Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
