forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
