Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
