Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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