well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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