Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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