I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
