Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she peed on how many people?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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