8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Less talking, more tequila
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
