She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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