i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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