I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize