there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
