Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
