I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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