You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
