I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
