bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
