Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
